Sunday, June 6, 2004

This Morning's Horrifying Horoscope

Aries 3/20-4/18
Unless you are saving yourself for someone, it is time for you to get laid. Even if you’re in China – do the deed. Unfortunately you’re not going to meet anyone at a bar. Find a new thing to do and work to qualm your libido necessities with that angle. Oysters – eat oysters – just to be masochistic – while you search or at least until your s.o. gets home..

Maybe I'll wander around the city scrawling my phone number on bathroom stalls or something. That would certainly be "a new thing to do". As you can see by my astrological sign, y'all missed my birthday, so someone out there owes me some zodiac supported sex, no strings, necessarily, attached.

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