A Personal Post

I was telling one of the two people that know me/read this journal that the other day I received yet another e-mail from an antique online personals ad (hadn't placed an ad in about a year) and briefly considered meeting someone. Why? To have more stories for this LJ. These are the lengths I was pondering going to until I realized that Iwanted to keep all of my horrible sex stories in the past.

Then I got another e-mail. I didn't reply to it. Instead I decided to update my profile on the dating site, and see if I got any replies.

This is how it reads:

Someone recently made a degrading remark about a gay mutual friend, and implied that the annoying fantasy world he lived in was because he was gay. When I replied that I'd rather not be lumped into a category with the lunatic simply because we both liked cock and ass, my friend said "Wait, you swing that way too?" "Yes," I said, "but whereas many of our gay friends prefer to swing for the fences, I prefer to bunt."

This pretty much sums up my sexuality.

Odds are, if you see me in a gym, I'm asking for directions. By the same token, if you see me up at the buffet with a heaping plate of food, I'm filling my plate for someone confined to a wheelchair or a pantsuit.


Ideal Person: So far my experience with men has been, at best, unbalanced. I've had some mundane relationships with people who I really cared about, and I've had some amazing sex with people I wouldn't mind seeing strapped to an anchor and dropped off in the deep side of the continental shelf.

I'm tempted to write that I'm looking for someone interested in more than just sex, but I should point out that "more than just sex" implies that they're interested in sex. I already have friends who don't put out.

I don't really go to clubs, but that's mainly because I work nights, not because I think I'm too good for them.

I'm not interested in married guys or people into in-depth role playing. I have a father, thank you, and there is a reason I don't have kids. That said, I'm pretty open minded in the bedroom (and the kitchen, and the bathroom at City Hall, and the sidewalk in front of my Republican neighbor's house...) but there's only one bodily fluid I'm interested in exchanging, and it doesn't usually involve toilets.

Basically, I'm looking for someone for a LTR, but realize I'll probably have to go through a few one-night-stands/STRs to get there. As long as there are no STDs I'll be a happy man.

I wonder if I'll get any interesting replies.

original post: http://insafemode.livejournal.com/8439.html?view=2873079#t2873079

Why I Almost Just Hurled

After a long day of work, I came home to write some e-mails and get to bed. After typing up a few LJ comments, I went to rap my fingers against the desk and got three fingertips coated in my (I assume) roommate's semen. Where is my Lava soap?

Uck. It's not like there isn't a box of Kleenex right next to the desk.

At least I didn't bang my head against it.

original post: http://community.livejournal.com/2_much_sex_info/41207.html